Will Your Marriage Hold Up Under Pressure?
Over the years, I have met couples who did very well - apart. They loved each other very much, in short spurts. I know other couples who spend most of their day together—being apart if very hard for them.
Now, if everyone is locked down in a house for who knows how long, will your marriage make it? I do suspect that some couples will come out of this ready to divorce if they don't follow these rules.
1. Have a safe space. Every once in a while, you need to get away from everyone. It might be a bedroom or garage. Wherever it is, have the understanding upfront that when you say you need some alone time - you need it. Unless there is an emergency, do not disturb. But, you cannot live in the garage the whole time.
2. Going to panic? Prepare now. Talk about it with your spouse. If you need a hug or reassuring words, then don't be afraid to walk up to your spouse and say, "I need a hug right now." Or "Tell me we are going to make it." Whatever who choose to do, do it at the drop of a hat. No questions asked.
3. People fight. Sparks are going to fly. The key is not to burn the house down. Have it out for a few moments. If it starts to escalate, stop it dead in its tracks. Reaffirm that this isn't the best situation any of us have been in, but that patience and civility will go a long way to helping this go faster. Allow cooler heads to prevail and then work it out.
4. Structure your time. Boredom is your enemy. It also adds to any potential depression. Keep yourself active and creative.
5. Talk about it. Don't ignore what is going on. Have honest conversations with each other about how you feel. Husbands! Listen, don't try to fix it. Just listen.
6. Give each other hope. Speak hope to each other. "We're going to make it." "Don't give up." Add lots and lots of "I love yous."
7. Limit information to the truth. Political pundits and editorial journalism aren't solving anything right now. Listen to facts and truth.
8. See faces. You need to facetime or Zoom call other people. Seeing different faces and emotional responses will help you cope with stress.
9. Fresh air. I understand that this may be easier said than done. But open a window if at all possible. Take a walk around the house.
10. Learn while you are under quarantine. There are lots of free courses you can take online. You may learn how to make positive changes to your lifestyle. Read a good book!