Send Them A Bill

Someone once told me that if you let people affect how you think and live it's like renting space in your brain to them.

I quipped back, "Hmm, I should send them a bill.  Rent is past due."

He chirped right back at me.  "They will move out."

We both laughed.

Some people influence our lives.  Many of these people have done so with the right heart and produced positive life-changing results.

But there are those whose presence in your life isn't positive or productive.  In fact, they can be downright painful.  The very thought of them causes you pain.

Now let me say something here just so we are clear.  If you are in a situation where your life is in danger, where you are physically and/or sexually abused.  GET OUT NOW!  The Bible doesn't say that you have to be someone's punching bag for their bad temper, or worse.

But if you are in a situation where someone or someones are bullying, being manipulative, emotionally draining or constantly negative here are a few words of advice.

You do not need their approval.
Peer approval goes all the way back to middle school for most of us.  But it never goes away.  Being accepted by someone is a fundamental desire we all have.  But here is the key to your success.  Choose wisely who will accept you.  You don't need everyone's approval, and you sure don't need the support of those who will use their relationship to manipulate you.

Forgive them and set your heart free.
Forgiveness isn't about justice.  It's about freedom.  Setting yourself free from harboring anger, jealousy, and bitterness.  If you hold on to those feelings too long, they will ruin your heart.  Don't let that happen.

Get out of the cartoon.
I have always said that if Wiley Coyote didn't want an anvil dropped on his head all the time he should just leave the cartoon.  Many unhealthy relationships are the product of someone's false reality.  If they cannot manage their own life well, they will not be able to manage a friendship with you either.

PRAY:  Dear Jesus, help me manage my relationships better.

PS  Matthew 7:3–5 3 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own

And you thought I was done?  Often times I find followers of Jesus, who cannot manage their own relationships, pointing their finger at others.  Before you declare someone as toxic in your life, be sure that you're not the one who is toxic.