When you hit bottom

Ok - so this is what I did. Last Thursday I worked 13 hours. Friday about 10 and another 14 on Saturday. Stayed up till 1:30 a.m. (working) and then taught Sunday morning, led worship and preached. After service I couldn't figure out why the world was spinning and I wanted to throw up. Stupid, I know. Really, really stupid! I had eaten lunch on Saturday and then snacked my way through dinner. Add a breakfast bar in the morning and you have a recipe for disaster. Blood sugar hit a all time low and I was going down. Rather than go ahead and collapse then go to the hospital - I just sat down and let the rest of the day take care of itself. Today (Tuesday) I am back to about 90% with a few waves of weakness that just seem to come out of no where. So what is this all about? Me practicing what I preach. I absolutely am kicking myself for preaching about stewardship and not practicing it. I would think that I would know better, but like all people who struggle with stewardship, I wasn't paying attention to the details. I am not a detail kind of person, (yes I am) I am a big picture type of person ( yes I am ) I don't let details bother me ( yes I do ) I keep my eye on the goal ( yes I do ). See the problem I'm having here? So Russ Jones had a come to Jesus meeting with Russ Jones yesterday. It was ugly, it almost came to blows!! But in the end Russ finally understood what he needed to do. (Weird, talking about myself in the third person.) So what has to change? Well if you don't like the results, change your methods. So this week I am dedicating to doing just that - while getting ready for this Sunday's 9/11 service. It isn't that God doesn't care about what I am doing, He just expects me to do it His way - which would get me a whole lot more sleep, less stress and a better point of view on life. I would quit meeting myself coming and going while letting others do stuff that quite frankly, they can do better than I. So, if you see me coming, don't duck and run for cover. I don't have the strength to catch you - but we are going to practice some good stewardship and let God bless us through it.


Toddie said…
That is why you are such an awesome pastor and man of God because you are so honest. God Bless your honesty and give you strength and health in Jesus Name.