Marriage and Change

Tina Turner is right: "What's love got to do with it?" When we first met the fireworks exploded, the planets aligned and the world became a better place. All we wanted to do was spend more time with our new love. Then one day we came to the conclusion that we couldn't live the rest of our life with them. So we asked them to marry us.

That was 5, 10 or 20 years ago. So what happened? Now you can't wait to get away from each other. You need your "alone" time. They do things that drive you crazy? You wish they would change. The only fireworks you see now are the ones from the epic battles you two have. Why can't it be the way it was so many years ago? Why isn't it like it was when we first met? You love them, you just don't like them very much! Any of this familiar?

Well there is a simple answer to this. One of the things you can count on in a marriage is change. Life has that effect on us and if we don't pay attention to the changes happening in our lives our marriages and our families, we are doomed. Life will beat us up and ruin our relationships if we let it. Wonderful wives turn into control freaks. Wonderful husbands turn into lazy bums. Wonderful children turn into spoiled brats. What do most people say, "I don't understand, we're not doing anything different?" That's the problem! If you keep doing the same thing over and over again, expecting to get the same results - you will be disappointed. Let me explain.

Life changes us and if we don't change with it we will find ourselves getting beat up by it. Life isn't fair. I hope that wasn't a surprise to you. It just isn't. Life will abuse you if given a chance. Satan is the ruler of this world (the Bible says so) and in as much want's to destroy your life, marriage and future. Jesus came to set you and your marriage free from that plan of doom. His sacrifice was sufficient to counter the abuse this life will try to inflict on your life and marriage. So what do you do?

#1 - Put God first. Love Him more than yourself, your spouse and even your kids. No this isn't a bad thing. Read on. We assume that our hearts are only able to love so much and do so much. You underestimate your ability to love. You can love God as much as you want and still have plenty of room in your heart for spouse and kids.

#2 - Whatever is important to God is now important to you. What is His will for you, your marriage and your family. Begin to do what He wants you to do. You will discover His blessing and His provision in your life for it.

#3 -Get in His Word (the Bible) - God gave you a handbook on how to deal with life, love, marriage, relationships and parenting. Discover what it says and try it. God's Word never fails. I dare you!

#4 - Hang around people who are living the life you want. That just makes good sense. Not every Christian who attends church has a great marriage, but you will find great marriages at church (as opposed to the country club or local bar.) Learn from the best and do what they do. It really works!

#5 - Don't be afraid to make changes. Here is a healthy way to look at it. Change is going to happen. If we let life change us, most of the time it will be bad news. If we make the changes that bring our families into a closer relationship with God, then God changes us - and what He does will bless us and give us eternal life. I like that kind of change, don't you?