Marriage Never Made Me Happy

This entry is the last in a series of blogs about my marriage to Betty.  Not that I don't have any more stories to share with you, but this is enough for now.  My daughter has been reading these entries all week saying, "I never knew that!"  It's been good for us as a family.

Just to remind you that I will continue our series Uncensored, Real Life, Real Marriage and Real Answers Sunday at 10:30 am.  I'm going to be focusing on reconciliation.

Marriage has never made me happy.  There are a couple of reason for that.
#1 - Marriage was never created by God to make you happy.
#2 - To assume marriage will make you happy forces you to put unrealistic expectations on your spouse.  Believe me; it will make them VERY unhappy.

Early in our marriage we lived and worked in Jacksonville as youth pastors.  However, they couldn't pay me enough, so Betty had to find a job.  She did so at a local Christian bookstore.  The owner was the pastor of an independent Pentecostal church in town.  It was his belief that women should never cut their hair.  So if my wife was going to work there - she had to let her hair grow.  I didn't like it.

After going through a rough time in our marriage and deciding that we were going to save it I said one day, "Betty, cut your hair.  I can't stand it that long."  She looked at me with glee and said, "Thank You, I hate it too!"  The only reason she let her hair grow out was to please me because I wanted her to get a job.

#1 - Using your marriage to please other people usually leaves you in a miserable state.
#2 - Making sacrifices to please your spouse is acceptable (we all do it) as long as a) you never sacrifice who you are and b) your spouse is willing to do the same for you.

Gal. 5:16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.

Here is the thing about being happy.  If the core of your marriage is Christ, then the emotions you experience (such as happy) will submit to His will.  But when you make, "happy" an idol in your marriage you will only experience despair.

PRAY:  Dear Jesus

FYI - After Betty had cut her hair, she lost her job.  That was a happy day!

Have you downloaded my free e-book on marriage?  Do so now?  After responding to the email that is sent to you - you can A) Download the book for free and B) Subscribe to my daily devotional email.  I would love to have the opportunity to encourage you every day.


No comments: