Marriage and Individuality


This past Sunday I started my Marriage Series with a sermon about individuality. Individuality and marriage can either be a blessing to each other or a curse. Let me explain. When the marriage is all about your needs, your wants, your desires - then someone is getting left out in the cold. That isn't what marriage is all about. Do something your spouse likes to do and enjoy it with them through their eyes. Yes, to your personality it is boring or pointless. But that isn't why you do it. They joy you can gain is from watching them light up and experience this for themselves.

Getting married has never, nor will it ever make you happy. People investing into each others lives with real love and hope foster an atmosphere of joy and peace - even in the midst of turmoil. We assume that when people fight that they hate or seriously dislike each other. That doesn't have to be so if the marriage is secure in it's foundation. Oh that doesn't mean you're not going to fight, but it does mean you can do it and not be afraid of someone storming out and never coming back.

Let me finish with this illustration. Laying the right foundation for your marriage is what it is all about. Just like a house, if you put the right foundation down, you can build anything on it. A house will never be better than it's foundation. You can tear it down as much as you like, and build something better and stronger every time. You can even expand on what you already have and enjoy a bigger and better house. But if the foundation is weak and small, that's exactly what kind of house you are going to get, no matter how good it looks on the outside. The same is true for marriage.

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